Saturday, October 31, 2009

Casual Travel: Hobo Time Machines....

Time Travel is West Coast Casual when you have a box and some tin foil...

Stay Casual...

Monday, October 26, 2009

Casual Controversy: Pet Costumes

Hello casual companions. I hope this monday evening finds you in a hot tub, naked, beverage in hand. If not, you should work on that...Now to the matter at hand.
Halloween is just around the corner and while we all love dressing up like rambunctious midgets looking for eggs on Easter, I must do the good lord's work and ask that you all refrain from the urge to dress your unwilling pets in horribly uncomfortable and utterly disgraceful pet garb.
Lets be clear. Animals should NEVER wear clothes. If they are mammals, they already have coats on all the time. You are not doing them a service. And if your dressing your fish in a wetsuit equipt with snorkle, well then that's pretty epic and I'll let it slide just this once. Aside from that, the only garments ever to be adorned by animals are sun glasses, and only with inter-species consent. Why on earth would you have the bright idea of dressing up your cat or dog as another animal, let alone a person? A dog is a dog, will always be a dog and will never be a frog. Give up the dream.
Now, it should go without saying, but there seems to be a number of psychotic women who just don't get it; treating their tiny dogs like little slave children: DON'T EVER PUT A PET IN A STROLLER!! This is the most depressing and idiotic, not mention highly uncasual thing a human can do to an animal. Miniature zoos on wheels, ugh. Wheeling your dog around like a helpless baby does not qualify as WALKING it!! They have legs for a reason and they like to excersise them. If you really need control, use the leash for god sake. I hate to break it to you, but your dog HATES you. It spends all day wishing it had opposable thumbs so that it could unbuckle its seatbelt, pick up a knife and stab you through your sick little heart. If you do this (pet strolling), or even think about doing this, you will spend eternity in your own personal hell which consists of you strapped tightly in a small stroller, being pushed around in the 90 degree heat by a giant dog with sunglasses, while humungous cats in suits and top hats stop on the street to stare and pinch your cheeks. You sick fucks. Get a life. It's not the dogs fault your kids don't love you. Maybe you shouldn't have tortured them either. Get a gold fish and get him some scuba gear stat.
I know violence is not casual, but its for the pets. C'mon.

Baby kitties keep it casual.
PETA does not. To hell with them too.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Casual Lighting: Tiki Torch

The Tiki Torch is a bamboo torch, common in the casual tiki culture.

So you are walking through your backyard in your house robe and drinking a mojito at dawn thinking how can I improve my already highly casual living situation and then the thought occurs as you walk by the fence and cause your neighbors uncasual motion sensor light to go off. Aha ! you think to yourself I need proper lighting back here and ones first thought of casual lighting in the backyard or deck is the Tiki Torch. Ya you could go and buy malibu lights but those are a bad choice cause they use energy and you dont live in malibu and the lights dont give off the ambient environment you were looking to achieve with a real flame.

So go out to your local home depot or Osh and grab a half dozen torches and place them around the backyard and you will quickly feel like you are in a more casual setting. If you live in a area that might have a problem like mosquito's well look no further some tiki torches have a anti-uncasual bug element mixed in with the fuel so your casual evening will not be ruined by having bugs bite you or try and sip the fresh sugar cane juice from your mojito.

The fascination with tiki torches have been around the united states for quite some time and have kept up in pop culture even now in present times where we have entire shows that end with epic tiki trial by fire endings like survivor where your time on the island has been cut off by a show of putting your tiki torch out.

Sorry sucker your off the casual island.

Speaking of islands I think there is no other proper way to bring light into the darkness of the tropical jungles like a good ol tiki torch shit even Jon Locke hunts boars and explores old tunnels and hatches with one.

So go out grab some torches and improve the quality in your casual lighting department at your house then throw a party.

But please be careful and do not attempt to blend a Tiki Torch it is not safe or casual.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Casual Prose: Haiku

October seems to be the month of poetry here at the WCCC. Its only fitting we give tribute to our eastern casual goers with a series of haiku; probably the most casual form of prose ever written:

This is a haiku
It is a casual thing
Time to drink a beer

Leisure clique say hi
Everyone is casual
Spread the love around

California Sun
It makes our lives so awesome
How we love it so

I must say goodbye
Please go write a haiku now
Then post it on here

Casual Soundtrack: Autumnal Astronaut

Autumnal Astronaut

The Casual Autumnal Astronaut Floats
Wandering Through Space, Looking For Hope

The Seasons Are Changing, The Flowers Soon Sleep
The Astronaut Swims, Into The Deep
The Rain Is Approaching, Say Goodnight To The Sun
The Brain Is Now Soaking, The Colors Soon Run
Greens And Yellows, To Reds And Grays
Seems So Mellow, In Bed He Lays
Dreaming Of Snow, Or Sun Perhaps
Autumn Is Upon Us, Let's Make It Last

The Autumnal Astronaut Mix...

Mute City Theme - F-Zero
Mirrors - Dam Funk
Requiem Pour Un Con - Serge Gainsbourg
Friends - Whodini
Lujon - Henry Mancini
Tangerine - Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass
Creeping Danger - Nino Nardini & Roger Roger
India - Roxy Music
Khidja - Mandrill
Comin' At Ya - Pyramid Plus
Ready Or Not - Goodie
Feel It (U-Tern Edit) - Leonard Seeley's Heritage
Party Lights - First Love
Super Duper Lovin' - Masurrati
Daybreak - Paul Hardcastle & First Light
Mysterious Waves (Celestial Mix) - Kosmic Light Force
Atmosphere Strut (Original 12" Mix) - Cloud One
Yakermo Sew (A Man of Experience and Wisdom) - Mulatu Astatke
Computer Bagel (Instrumental) - Lambo
Computer Bagel (Capski's Broken Computer Remix) - Lambo
Want You Back - Nite Jewel
Fantasy - xx
By The Sea - Wendy & Bonnie
Disgust - Fat Jon
Failing Light - Brian Eno & Harold Budd

Stay Casual...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Casual Prose: O Thee Casual Turtle

Oh thee glorious casual turtle
Creature of the shell
Morning come and night doth fall
Still in your home you dwell.

You never have to run and hide
Nor scurry home to sleep
You only pull your head inside
And tuck your tiny feet.

Once I had you as a pet
And oh, the fun we had
Lazing in the shade all day
You never made me sad

Until one day I turned my back
You scurried out the door
You wished to be a turtle free
What can I blame you for.

I sat and thought about your life
I hoped that you were well
So free and clear of any strife
Protected in your shell.

But one day turtle, you appeared!
For in my yard you stayed!
You hung around for many years!
Oh glorious casual days!

Based on true events that took place in the summer of '93.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Casual Creature: The Snail...

Oh Casual Snail...
We love you so...
We don't mind how slow you go...
Oh Casual Snail...
You love the rain...
Oozing around the casual drain...
Oh Casual Snail...
You calmly roam...
Carrying around your comfy home...
Oh Casual Snail...
You love to eat leaves...
Sometimes algae in the seas...
Oh Casual Snail...
They might pick on you...
But they just wish they were casual too...

Monday, October 5, 2009

Casual Snacking: Cookies and Milk

Let me start by saying that snacking (known to cows and other land mammals as grazing) is a widespread casual pandemic, however it has yet to recieve serious attention from the West Coast Casual Coalition. There is no more denying it. Snacking is now so rampant and leisurely an activity, even the seasoned snacker often forgets they've even done it all day long. Lost in the belly never to be remembered amidst the mighty meals you've consumed. Snacking has been know to lead to serious naps and sometimes full blown sleep, not to mention large pillow like bellies that other snackers can nap on.

Snack Cakes.

Typically it goes something like this: So you got hungry after lunch, and before dinner you munched some string cheese, a slice of pumpkin pie and a Dorito chip (cooler ranch of course). When your mother calls you that night to check that you haven't gotten festively plump during the holidays and asks you what you ate that day, you tell her about the scrumptious cheeseburger you ate for breakfast, the grande festive burrito you ate for lunch, and the whole leg of lamb and head of cabbage you ate for dinner, completely neglecting your mid day snack intake of pie, Dorito chip and such. You sure as hell didn't tell her about those cookies and milk you ate before bed.

Tub Scouts.

Today we highlight the intrepid cookie and milk combo. It is glorious in its nature. Some may say that milk came before the cookie but they are wrong. Cows love cookies too and they made milk especially for them. To have one without the other, expecially after 8pm is just a dirty shame. In the AM hours cookies can be supplimented with cereal. We recommend the cookie/cereal creation known as Cooookie Crisps. Anyways, get some cookies. Get some milk, and make sure its 2% or over. Skim milk will not suffice for this exercise as it is merely white water disguised as milk. Dipping is essential. In fact it is less of a dip and more of a soak. You must time your soak perfectly as to not let the cookie get so overly soggy that it leaves cookie remnants in your milk. That is poor form and will not be tolerated. If you do this right, you will be rewarded greatly by both taste and texture. If you don't believe me, ask a monster. Apparently they really like cookies. Though i'm not sure they have time to dip them in milk, for they are so madly in love with cookies they seem to shove handfuls of cookies straight into the mouth. Doesn't matter what kind. I do not recommend this.

I strongly suggest the use of Oreo Cookies along with whole milk. Snickerdoodles, Oatmeal Raisin, and of course Chocolate Chip and also highly recommended.

Incognito cookies keep it casual

A Casual Beverage: The Capri Sun

In the early years as a young boy growing up in the 818 chapter, my mom would pack me a sack lunch and i learned about the Capri Sun, one of the most casual of beverages to give you the refreshing taste you need all in just a little silver pouch. These casual pouches come in a variety of tropical flavors to quench your thirst. With 100% wholesome natural fruit flavor its no wonder the capri sun is the most casual of juices. Worstin's flavor of choice is the pacific cooler, it represents the pacific which is the most casual of all the oceans and combines a mixed fruit juice taste. The Capri sun is a must in any sack lunch, its easy and on the go, just take the straw and pop it in and your good to go.

Casual Gone Wrong: Plastic "Clamshell" Packaging

Plastic "clamshell" packaging is the worst as we all know. Who ever the asshole is who created this non casual packaging should be arrested and shipped off to some shitty place where he/she has to try to open packages like these with his/her bare hands for the rest of there life.
I could be suffering from wrap rage. In fact, the term "wrap rage" was coined because so many people are losing there casual cool because of the anger and frustration that inevitably arises when trying to pry the ubiquitous packaging open.

Thousands of people end up in emergency rooms each year with lacerations and puncture wounds from battling with the nearly impossible-to-open packaging. Many more get minor wounds from using sharp objects to open packages, according to American Medical News.

Here at the WCCC we do not encourage you to try to open these packages but if you must we offer this slight piece of knowledge. The ordinary can opener sitting in your kitchen drawer will open this package casually and more safe then a knife,screwdriver or whatever you are using.

Stay Casual Stay Safe.